You Can Say No

We all get busy. As women we often take on more than we should and do more than we should while ignoring ourselves and our needs. When you learn to flow you will understand more quickly which things are important and which are not. Believe me, many of the things you think are of paramount importance are not. As our responsibilities pile up we tell ourselves that each thing is important and must be done. We add to the pile and add to our own pressure by saying yes to everyone who asks us to do anything. The first step to sorting out and climbing out from under the pile we have created is to simply take a moment to think before agreeing to do anything. Often we say yes without consideration because we feel obligated and because we believe that no one else will measure up or step forward and do what is being asked. It is, in fact, a touch of arrogance that allows us to pile so many things on our own heads and then a stubborn sense of pride that makes us work ourselves endlessly to accomplish each thing we took on. Practice this: stop saying yes to everything and say no at least once a day. Yes, you can be polite, kind and thoughtful and still say no. You can also ask nicely for time to consider your obligations and schedule before agreeing. There are many things that have to be done in any given day, but they don’t all have to be done in every given day and you will find as you begin to consider and to say no that some of them do not have to be done at all.

I have 9 kids. For 25 years I had a husband and for many of those years i had a farm full of animals. I did not start saying no until I was in my 40s. What a freeing and wonderful word! And you know what? The only thing that happened when I started saying no was that I had a few minutes a day to myself. Life went on. No one collapsed, the children didn’t starve, the animals didn’t die and the house did not catch on fire. And for the first time in my life I was able to breathe for a few minutes at a time and I discovered that even when not buried in an endless series of tasks I am an important and worthwhile person.

It takes practice so start now. Consider before saying yes and at least once a day say no. It will all be okay and you are worth it!